Left Behind - Hunter Prichard

Everything was quiet as the sun rose from beyond the houses. Kiersten bunched her knees up to her neck and stuck her head between them. The spasms were bad this morning and her dad’s coat didn’t much help to keep her warm. Once the air had lightened, she tried to fix things. Her clothes were strewn all over the floor and the chair had been knocked over and all the dresser-drawers had been pulled out and stacked like firewood in the corner. It wasn’t so funny that she’d gone looking for what she knew wasn’t there. But she swore to herself she would’ve laughed if her stomach wasn’t so sick and her head hadn’t the dogged stabbing. She gripped her throat as she went into the kitchen.
 
The electric heater had been left on and their big room wasn’t so cold. Willa tried to hold herself still but her hands shook as she set water to boil. Cal was staggering about his bedroom, knocking things over, and cussing under his breath. She tried to laugh at him as she descended the backstairs and went down the lower corridor to her mailbox. Nobody had left anything for her. She paused and stood for a long moment with her breath contained, listening if any of them were awake. All the rooms were filled for the first time in a while, but that didn’t matter if their rent wasn’t going to be paid on time. She hated them for not giving her the money, but she hated herself more for not having the nerve to kick them out into the cold street like they deserved.
 
“There’s nobody to fill the rooms anyways,” she told Cal. “I should kick one of them out, just to scare them.”
 
“You’ll ruin their poor Christmas.” Cal drank a cocoa at the table. He looked small in the old coat. “How much do they owe you?”
 
“I’ll figure it out today.” Kiersten made instant coffee and sat with him. “It’s pointless to kick them out. There’s nobody to rent this year and I guess we can’t be killing people.”
 
“If they don’t have any money, what should we care? At least kick Tom out.”
 
“Maybe Marilyn too,” she tried to joke. “Or Elmer.”
 
He had his feet on the windowsill. “You have the right to do what you want with them.”
 
“I’ll talk after Christmas,” she said, rubbing at her jaw so it wouldn’t twitch so much. Then she looked at him. It was funny how Cal scowled, thinking over the money with her. “You don’t need to be worrying over anything. I have it written down what they owe.”
 
“Just get it all before the summer comes,” he whispered.
 
“Don’t tell me what to do!” she said with a funny smirk and crossed her eyes.
 
“I will.” He laughed and stretched out his arms. “By summertime, you’ll be treating me like your business-partner.”
 
“What the hell are you talking about? You have two years left.”
 
“I’m quitting,” he said. “School is stupid anyways. There’s no point in going anymore.”
 
“I’ll slap your face in if you even think about dropping out.” Kiersten stood. She was so nervy she couldn’t help but to pace a little. The way she walked was like her knee joints needed to be oiled, and she could feel Cal staring her down. She went from the window to the electric heater twice, and then turned to face him. “I don’t ever want to hear you say that again.”
 
“I’m at least old enough to help you out with the money,” he said in a soft voice.
 
“You’re not going to drop out or I’ll have to kill you or something,” she said, trying to make it into a joke. “I got to go to the store later. You make out a list, but I’m in the mood for a big Christmas dinner.” She tried to smile. “We can splurge a little, can’t we?”
 
“I don’t know.” He was trying to chuckle, but his eyes were beady. “I’m only saying there’s no real point in school. I hate it there.”
 
“Of course, there is. You can’t much get a job anywhere without it.”
 
“People do alright without going to –”
 
“You’re going to turn right into that Elmer.” Kiersten stepped to the window. “Look at him.” She felt Cal peer around her to look. They silently watched Elmer limp down the street before turning around the corner towards town. People like him had to work Sundays. “He owes me from October. How the hell are you going to live if you’re like him?”
 
“I was only saying that school is stupid and I don’t care much about it,” he said. “I can go to the store for you. I’ll get some of that cherry candy you like. Don’t you want it?”
 
Kiersten smoked a cigarette by the window. She couldn’t bear to look at him but she laughed alright when he started telling her of a story of some kid at school cussing the teacher out and get himself suspended. She stared down at the people coming out from the house and lumbering down the street. The cigarette almost helped to settle her nerves, but she was feeling faint and she rested her forehead against the cold pane. Then a sudden rush of confused pain erupted in her brain.
 
“You’re sick,” he said nervously.
 
“It’s not so bad after a minute or so.” She tried to sit up and be ordinary, but she couldn’t. then sat back up and cleared her throat. “I got to get the money from them. I’ll do it. Watch me.”
 
“I can’t hear you.” He rose. “Can you sit?” he asked nervously. “Let me help you.”
 
Kiersten turned hard as she could from him and went down the hall. She slammed her bedroom door shut and stuttered about, first cracking all her finger joints, and then pressing her hands into the gap of her windpipe and trying to keep them still. She sometimes went to the window and heaved out. All she spat up was a yellow stomach mucus. From the hall, Cal called to her but his voice sounded scared and far away. She got into bed wearing all her clothes and laid wrapped up counting backwards from one hundred.
 
Later, she awoke with something gently pressed upon her shoulders. Peculiar, whispery voices were all around her but she couldn’t understand what was being said. The voices and the weight on her seemed to be the remnants from some faraway dream, but they lingered and she helplessly struggled. Nobody except for her and Cal were allowed in the room and even Cal wasn’t allowed unless she was there too. She kept her eyes shut for long as she could and when she opened them, the bedroom was dark and people loomed around her.
 
“I see you talking,” somebody said into her ear. “Kiersten, can you hear me?”
 
“She’s a freak out. You be careful with her.”
 
“That’s right. Go and get your whiskey Tom. I’ve seen this before.”
 
“It’s Marilyn,” the first voice said. “You’re only a little sick, Kiersten. But I don’t want you to worry.”
 
“Elephants. That’s right. Get your whiskey, Tom.”
 
“No,” Marilyn said. “Get her the water, like I said.”
 
“She needs something to taper it off,” Tom said. “Or else she could have a seizure.”
 
Kiersten grimaced and tried to sit up. “Who let you in here? What’re you doing?”
 
“Your brother came to get me,” Marilyn whispered. “He said you were sick. But I don’t want you to worry.” She smiled. “Is there anyone we can call, Kiersten? Your brother said –”
 
“They don’t have anyone,” Tom said for her. “Don’t bother her with that.”
 
“I’m not sick.” Kiersten struggled. Her eyes had adjusted to the yellow light and she could see a whole lot of them surrounding the bed. Some were standing up against the wall, their eyes large and worried. “You can’t be in here.”
 
“Your brother was worried about you. He said you weren’t feeling well.”
 
“Go get the whiskey,” Elmer said. “Don’t make me tell you again.”
 
Kiersten struggled but Marilyn’s hands were heavy on her shoulders. Water from the washcloth Marilyn was patting her with dripped down her face and tickled her nose and chin. Kiersten twisted her face away but she saw only the dusky starry sky. Her lips works soundlessly as she tried to gain pose and strength. Marilyn had started whispering a lighthearted song and some of the others had crept closer. Tom returned carrying a jug of whiskey under his arm and a glass of water. He was laughing on something and about spilled the glass of water onto the floor. He held the jug up to the light, waiving off Marilyn’s shout, and tried measuring out a shot.
 
“Where’s my brother?” Kiersten mumbled. “Where is he? There’s school.”
 
“I’m here with you and won’t leave,” Marilyn told her. “Listen to me, Kiersten. You’ll be well shortly. I don’t want you to worry.”
 
“I want my brother. Where is he?”
 
“He’s gone.” Tom squinted down at the whiskey. “Left a long time ago.”
 
“I’m sure he went to get something to eat,” Marilyn said quickly. “It’s dinnertime.”
 
“I want him,” Kiersten said. “I need to know where he is.”
 
“I said he’s gone. Help me with this, Elmer.”
 
“Don’t you dare give her that!” Marilyn turned back. “Your brother is getting dinner.”
 
“He’s not allowed,” Kiersten whispered. “He’s not allowed without telling me first. And he has school tomorrow. He can’t be out on a school night.”
 
“Who cares about school?” Elmer asked. “We’ll need to taper it. I’ve seen it before.”
 
“Never seen it this bad,” someone said. “And I’ve seen people about die.”
 
“Well, you should’ve seen the grandad of a guy I knew,” Tom said with a throaty laugh. “He went so out of his mind, they had to strap him down to the bed with a bunch of belts. He was a strong man and about broke out of the belt. I know how to take care of this.”
 
“Where’s Cal?” Kiersten started to cry. She hadn’t ever cried in front of people but she couldn’t stop herself. “He’s supposed to tell me when he leaves. He has school tomorrow. He’s not allowed to leave. Where did he go, Marilyn? Where did he go?”
 
Marilyn patted her forehead. “Please don’t cry, Kiersten.”
 
“Get him. Tell him to come and see me? I’m alright now. I’m better.”
 
“You can’t go anywhere, Kiersten. But don’t worry. Your brother is alright.”
 
“He needs to come home. If you’re not getting him, I will.”
 
You said he was here. You said he was in the kitchen. I want him.”
 
“Please, try to rest.”
 
“He shouldn’t be going off by himself. He needs to be here. There’s school tomorrow.”
 
“Don’t know why you would be caring about that.” Elmer came with the whiskey.
 
Marilyn kept him back, her arms broad. “That’s a nasty thing to be telling her. And get that whiskey the hell out of here. I don’t care what you think would be best, you’re not going to give her that.” She gave them hard looks and then pulled the comforter up so that it tickled Kiersten’s nose. “Do you have anyone we should call? I bet you have school tomorrow too.”
 
“She hasn’t been in school in a year,” Tom said. “I liked that about her. There’s no point in doing school. You only waste time.”
 
“That’s right.” Elmer cleared his throat. “You make her drink it, or it’ll get worse.”
 
“Yeah, let the boy be a boy. And the girl a girl.” Tom said. He’d taken a small drink for himself. “He doesn’t need school as much as you don’t.”
 
“He needs to be back here,” Kiersten whispered as she sobbed.
 
“Let him do what he wants,” Tom said. “As for you, you’ll go into shock if you don’t drink it. I’m not kidding. Come on now.”
 
“Rest, Kiersten. Please, lie still and try to rest.” Marilyn leaned her head down and breathed out slow. “I’m not going to leave you, Kiersten, I won’t. I promise. Please, try to rest.”
 
Tom made her sit up. He gave her the whiskey. The liquor didn’t burn much and she felt her nerves calm and her head bow with drowsiness. The silence was loud in the room, but she rested back on the worn pillow and felt better. Marilyn’s soft touch remained on her shoulder, on her forehead and hand, as she fell into a grey place partway between sleep and awareness.
 
Four or five days later, she awoke from a long sleep. There were more of them around. Marilyn sat closest on the chair besides her bed, her head tilted to one side and there was a questioning look in her face. Helen, an old and meager woman, was against the wall with her arms crossed. Tom sat on the desk with the bottle of whiskey in his hand. It was a special desk that had been in the family forever and she hated him. Jane quivered in the corner. Elmer chewed his lip. Cal stood nearby. His face turned down and to the side when her eyes raised to meet his. His face was pinched with anger.
 
“You can’t be going anywhere without telling me first,” she told him.
 
“You weren’t awake for me to tell. There wasn’t any food.”
 
“I don’t care. You can go away just because you’re hungry.”
 
“What was I supposed to do?” He looked directly at her. “I’m not a boy.”
 
“I don’t care what happens. You tell me where you go.” She felt she was going to cry. “If you ever leave me, I’ll kill you. I swear so.”
 
“I don’t need to tell you anything.” He glared at her. “You’re the one who got sick and I’m the one who got them to help you. They didn’t want to. I had to make them. Do you think anyone cares enough about you? I had to say if you died then we would need to sell the house and then they would need to leave.”
 
“No, you didn’t say that.”
 
“I did and even then they didn’t care. They had better things to do and they don’t much care at all. I don’t even care if you’re sick.”
 
Marilyn smoothed down the blanket. “Nobody needs to shout at each other,” she whispered. “Kiersten, I can hear your voice clear as a bell now. Do you feel better? Maybe it was the whiskey that did the trick.” She tried to smile.
 
“She’ll be alright,” Tom said after a moment.
 
“You give her a little more in a bit.” Elmer smiled. “No need to be ashamed about it.”
 
“Make sure you give her a little more, Cal. But she’s about clear out of it.”
 
Marilyn stood and she patted Kiersten on the shoulder and then looked around at the rest. Kiersten rubbed at her nose. She looked about the faces that stared back at her, hard as ice. They turned and wandered out, their heads lowered and their limbs long and slack. Tom went out behind them but he came back, gave Cal the whiskey and whispered something in his ear. Elmer was stopped too and the three of them spoke briefly.
 
Cal sat next to the bed. “Your place is a mess,” he said in a jokey voice. He was probably trying to tease her. Then he almost seemed sorry. “There were clothes everywhere.”
 
Kiersten turned to her side. “I don’t want any of that,” she told him.
 
“I need to give you a little. That’s what Tom said.”
 
“I don’t care. I don’t want it. Don’t give it to me.”
 
“Only a little. You won’t get drunk.” He rolled the bottle between his hands. “I didn’t mean to do anything. I left you alone but you were shaking and twitching and mumbling later. I had to go down and tell them.” He smiled a little. “Now, you do what I say and drink down a little bit. It won’t be so bad. And then I can go make you some toast for dinner.”
 
“I don’t want to drink it.”
 
“You need to do what they said.” He rested for a moment longer, uncertainness paralyzing his face, and he stared at her face as he measured some whiskey into a cap and held it out for her. “This will be the last. But you be the one to promise me it.”
 
When she drank now, her stomach lurched and it felt like her insides were pushed into her esophagus. Then she breathed deeply and sat up more on the pillow. A clean and melancholy feeling gradually came over her. Cal dried the perspiration from her forehead with the back of his hand. She felt his hand but she couldn’t look at him. He told her to open her lips and he poked a cigarette through them and lit it for her. She didn’t know why he did this. But they’d always been good about reading each other’s minds.
 
He took a box of cherry-candy out of his pocket and gave her a piece. It was her favorite candy but she only ate it at Christmas time. He looked proud to have it for her and crossed his eyes when she made him eat some of it. Crossing his eyes made her laugh. Then he started saying it was going to be alright so many times over that she asked him what was going to be alright. Then he looked embarrassed and stopped telling her it. She had to tease him to make him feel better. They then started telling old, forgotten stories and laughed a bunch, until it was morning and he was helping her into the kitchen for breakfast. Ham-steaks and pancakes.